My Relationships with Food Allergy

One of the first things my boyfriend learned about me was that I have food allergies. He was always really good at making sure that he was careful with what he ate around me and all the other food-allergy safe practices that friends and peers practice. However, he wasn’t familiar with food allergies and didn’t fully understand the significance and severity of how they affect relationships. When I had my first reaction on campus, he watched the whole process happen. I could tell afterward that he had a new understanding of how sensitive and serious my allergies are. He brushes his teeth every time he eats (after every meal, snack, etc), washes his hands, and is now my biggest food allergy advocate. While I would never wish for an allergic reaction, I am thankful that he was there when it happened. I feel like he is definitely more involved, aware, and supportive after experiencing it first-hand.

-CJ

My allergies weren’t exactly one of the first things I told my girlfriend about when we started dating. I mentioned it a few times so she knew about it, but it wasn’t until a couple of weeks after we started dating that I had a long conversation about food allergies with her. She reads the labels on everything and is always careful with any food when she is around me. She won’t eat anything that contains my allergens any day we hang out, and it’s almost gotten to the point where she just doesn’t eat my allergens at all. One story I could tell is from the first time we went to dinner at a restaurant. I always tell the waiter or waitress about my allergies when I order, and she thought it was funny because she had never seen anyone do that before. I told her how I do it every single time, just like everyone else who has allergies. She has now learned so much more about living with allergies. She’s always looking out for me, and I’m so thankful to have her in my life.

-Thomas

I was friends with my girlfriend before we started dating so she was used to the “can I speak with your manager” spiel every time our friend group went out. I can’t have gluten and she can’t have peanuts, so it can be tricky finding a place to eat, and oftentimes we end up cooking at home. Having a night in can be just as nice, especially knowing that we'll both be safe. Finding a partner who cares about your allergy and worries about keeping you safe makes life with an allergy easier. I am so thankful that my girlfriend is really accommodating and takes my allergy just as seriously as her own. She eats almost entirely gluten-free and always does when we see each other and I am completely peanut-free. Your allergy is a part of you but it doesn’t define who you are. Don’t let it hold you back from being with someone else.

-Jackson

I told my boyfriend about my food allergies the first time we hung out alone. He listened while I explained what situations would make me feel uncomfortable and assured me that he wouldn’t eat my allergens on days we were together. A few weeks after we started dating and he began to experience life from my perspective (asking about unlabeled dining hall food and reading labels on packaged snacks), he confessed that he had never been close to anyone with food allergies and felt new to the world of label reading and double-checking. This ended up being the first time I showed him my EpiPens, taught him how to use them, and explained detailed steps of what to do in case I had a reaction. While I was initially nervous that all this information would seem overwhelming, sharing it actually helped him feel much more confident about his ability to manage my food allergies. I’m so grateful that we had these conversations about my food allergies because they helped us get to know each other on a deeper level and learn to trust each other in the early stages of our relationship.  

-Emily