Forgiving Yourself for Food Allergy Mistakes
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- Piecing Together My Son's Milk Allergy
- Don't Let Food Allergies Get You Down
- A Diagnosis of Food Allergy and EE
- A Food Allergy That Reemerged
- First Reaction in 14 Years
By Marci
As the parent of a child with a food allergy, I have often berated myself for the emergency room visits and epinephrine use that seemed to be urgently needed at one time or another. I am here to let you know that forgiveness is an important step in recovering from an incident.
We discovered my son had a food allergy while at a Christmas party, where potluck desserts were available. The chocolate layer walnut bars looked delicious to my then 18-month-old toddler. After one bite, he refused any more of the treat and indicated that his mouth was an “owie.” I observed that his lips looked swollen. I work in the medical field and was familiar with allergic reactions, so I quickly gave him an antihistamine.
Eventually, we figured out that he was allergic to all tree nuts and avoided them entirely. Our occasional emergency room visits have not ceased. I have spent many an hour fretting over what could have caused this bout of breathing trouble, coupled with nausea and hives or other symptoms. We have had dozens of episodes in which we used epinephrine on the way to the emergency room.
I have stood in front of my cupboard in my entirely nut-free kitchen crying about what to feed my son wondering, “Will this meal kill him?” The unknown allergy was driving me to the brink of a breakdown. We eventually discovered his other allergy was caused by paprika, a spice found in many unlikely places - mayonnaise, taco meat, and hot dogs, to name a few. A large quantity (like the amount found in tacos) causes his mouth to swell and itch shortly after ingestion. A small quantity (like the amount found in hot dogs or mayonnaise) doesn’t cause a reaction until he exercises. We have had a number of trips to the emergency room following a cross-country running workout or a meet on days he has eaten a food at lunchtime containing paprika (sometimes labeled “spice”).
The reaction presents itself with itchy palms and starts immediately after a hard workout or a race. If we are not fast enough getting medicine, his whole body is swollen with hives and his face and nose become doubled in size. One time, the whites of his eyes were swollen out around the iris. This is a scary thing to watch from a parents’ perspective.
I recently visited a relative. The subject of food allergies was discussed ahead of time. I was comfortable with this visit because two of their family members are also tree nut allergic. I presumed that the labels would all be read, and that food would be safe as far as tree nuts were concerned. It turned out not to be the case. I opened several cans of refrigerator biscuits and did not read the label myself because I expected this had already been done. By chance, one of the labels fell to the floor and upon retrieval, I took a moment to read the label and discovered the words “contains traces of tree nuts.” This product was a regular purchase for this family and they had never had any problem with it. This must have been a recent manufacturing change. We made the treat but those with allergies did not eat it. We did not feel like very good moms at that point, but we were happy to have avoided any medical problems!
I always try to turn the emergency room trips into a learning experience for both my son and myself. When all is quiet again, we talk about what happened, what can be done to avoid a repeat, and what would he do if he were alone or with friends and not with a parent. We try to come up with a positive about the episode. Our most recent emergency room visit was to a new hospital, and it brought to light the fact that our regular emergency room is very good in dealing with our visits.
I am watching my son grow into a young man, and I hope and pray that I have done my job of raising him to be the responsible person he needs to be in order to keep himself safe. We each try to stay aware in all situations on a daily basis, to help each other out. Accidents happen. We can only do our best to be vigilant to prevent episodes, be prepared to deal with emergencies should they arise, learn from our experiences, and be ready with forgiveness for each other and for ourselves.
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